lol....recently I've been having serious case of insomnia.....
just yesterday....I went to bed around 1 am and still haven't sleep at 3....
what to do.....you can't sleep....can't crawl downstairs to play com (mom have very good ears....)....and you're lying there on bed.....
So, naturally, i started to think of things and daydream (though i suppose it should be nightdream...)
Weirdly....these thoughts that i usually have are usually quite profound...but i guess that if one spends so much time thinking on a particular subject it'll make sense one way or another.....
the topics tends to fluctuate here and there....never quite staying on a fixed subject......
I could be thinking about parents in a moment, then go to thinking about life, or even thinking about why things are the way they are......
So i thought....why don't i just write down everything on my blog for the sake of writing....
Which is why the title is insomnia thoughts....the subtitle on the other hand is just a really rough theme of topic in this post.....
Also given the fact that i am not lying down on a bed in a dark room when writing this and there are a lot of distractions, not to mention that i might have forgotten what i though about (which happens quite often....)....well.....i'll try my best.....
whatever that is written down in insomnia thoughts is just what they are....thoughts...and all the things written are not checked for the factual correctness....so don't start criticizing......
and just another note, these thoughts came from the merging of KuroKaori, ShiroKaori and Kaori.....or should i say KuroShiroKaori3.....lol....now on to the thoughts!!
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Been thinking lately....human thoughts are truly a strange thing.....
so are their way of seeing things.....
the perfect example would be the frequently asked question:
Is the glass half empty or half full?
Then, our thoughts influence the way we think.....
Those whose thoughts tend to drift to the well...darker side most probably would say its half empty and vice-versa....
some might ask "isn't it the same?"
and then they will tell you the whole point of asking this question is to see if you are optimistic, pessimistic or just neutral.....
then it made me think....why would anybody want to know if someone is an optimist or a pessimist?
i guess it might be the same as how we sometime ask ourselves questions that other might see it as trivial......
but those test are not 100% correct...because nothing ever is....
and i'm not gonna include any God-talks in here....at least for the moment.....
nobody is the same no matter what some might think.....
which is why we crave for someone who actually understands us in some way...
which is why friendship comes into play......
When we befriend someone, its always because that there is something we gain from it...something about that person that actually draws you in......
don't say that you didn't befriend someone because you wanted something from them...
I always thought that people who said that are ignorant about what is happening in life because no matter if we want it or not, we always make sure that we gain something when doing something.....
it doesn't matter if its money, fame, understanding, company or the feeling of being superior than others.....the fact is, all humans have selfish reasons when doing things....
one may argue, what about helping people doing things without accepting any form of payment?
well, i have to say, the minute you decide to do something, is the minute you have started receiving payment.
we often think of payment as something physical, but what about the spiritual or emotional sense?
For example, when you help someone, you get the feeling that you have did something good and some might feel content or some may feel more superior than others as they manage to help someone do something they can't.....
Aren't these 'payments' too?
then you might say, i didn't do it willingly! my mum/dad/teacher/conscience/or whoever you may think of forced/coerced/persuaded/demanded me to do it!
but think of it in another way, didn't you do it because you didn't want to get into trouble?
or maybe you did it to get into that person's good graces.
No matter what they say, one still looks for profits before they do something.
everyone is selfish in their own way, it just depends on how selfish they are.
Society have this 'limit' on everything, too much of it and you're selfish/mean/talented/disgusting/etc,etc,etc....
And who made these limits?
Humans.
I find it really ironic that human are the ones who set these limit, and yet are the one who want to break these limits.....
So in the end, i guess this proves that humans are really conflicting creatures aren't they?
they invent opposites words for everything imaginable yet they have the most opposite way of thinking.....
the world is a paradox by itself....
don't worry if you don't understand a word above, because sometimes i don't either, and i'm the one who wrote it......
there is a paragraph i read in a fanfiction that amuse me.....take a look at it....
"I know the basic way a hero must grow up. He’s an abused, skinny orphan, who through adventures learns and becomes the mighty unbeatable person, who knows everything. Here’s the trick, kiddies, heroes do not know everything. Heroes do make mistakes. Heroes can hurt other people.We invented heroes when we became scared of ourselves. We wanted to know that somebody out there was still innocent and un-touched with the evilness that lurks among the humankind. We wanted somebody to take the responsibility, we wanted somebody to be our savior, and we wanted somebody to blame. Mortal humans became innocent, as all the bad things that occurred were heroes’ fault; they had failed to prevent them happening.
Heroes are the models of our race. That’s why it’s so hard to understand, and even harder to forgive, when one of them does something wrong or unthinkable. The first reaction is denial. Then comes the ultimate feel of betrayal.
It’s even worse, than when a family member betrays, because the members of a family are only humans. Heroes are one step higher. They are nearly half-gods. They are powerful, and when they fail they become dangerous.
Therefore, the third step… is fear."
lol....humans....how more contradicting can they be?
Labels: humans, insomnia, thinking, thoughts
